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San Diego’s Gary Gallywhagger, father of four, reports open sores after promiscuous poking on Facebook.
“I’m a good father, make an honest living as an online marketer, and then this happens,” says Gallywhagger. “I was just poking around for fun. I seem to have the worst luck.”
Gallywhagger claims his friends pressured him into adding application after application and poking him and poking him. “I tried to say no but they kept pressuring me.”
A recent study released by the CDC (Centers for Disease Control & Prevention,) the nation’s leading authority for credible health information, cited one out of six men over the age 40 are at risk for a FTB or Facebook Transmitted Disease.
“It’s a platform that needs to be respected,” from Health Information for the Online Traveler. FTB is a serious disease, first recognized as a distinct syndrome in late 2007. FTB progressively damages the immune system. Without an effective immune system, life-threatening infections and related to failing immunity will develop.
With more and more men over the age of 40 joining the ever popular social network, Facebook launched several public service announcements starring Ryan Seacrest on YouTube. “We’re hoping these videos go viral,” says a spokesperson from Facebook. “We’re also hoping to go popular on Digg. The world needs to know about FTB.”
But seriously….
Playing it safe online isn't just smart it's the key to a healthy and vibrant lifestyle. Here are some valuable tips to help you play it safe while still having fun on your favorite social media network:
- Promiscuous Poking on Facebook may lead to chronic dumping by friends
- Alcohol affects your judgment; if you’re going to blog while drunk, know your limits
- Remember that “no” means NO. Don’t let anyone force you to Digg their links or Stumble their content if you don’t feel comfortable. Your cyber footprint is your temple!
- Under no circumstance should you Twitter your social security number no matter how transparent you’re trying to be
- Don’t feel pressured to be everyone’s friend. You don’t have to get into bed with just anybody. Like attracts likes and there’s an online community for every niche.
- Stock up online social networking advice articles; they’re usually free and help stop the spread of the deadly social media simplex b
- Bigger is not always better; avoid services that promise you “1000 Links in 10 Seconds"
- Get tested regularly. Find ways to measure your online efforts to know what works and what doesn’t; always strive for improvement
- Wash with soap before and after using someone else’s keyboard or if you're around someone who might have touched a dirty mouse
- You can get it from kissing—don’t believe everything you read
Parody written for ProBlogger’s Killer Titles – Group Writing Project.
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